A friend’s husband passed away last week, someone, well, I went to high school with, both of them….I guess I’m at that age now…had an uncle passed away, went to his burial last week……sad…I check out the obituaries pretty much every day……and yeah, see more of them than weddings or births…

Then you think about your life….

seriously, I’ve always been a loser and a class a-asshole a lot of the time….time’s I’m not proud of, things I’m embarrassed about…

how, I think I turned out okay is beyond me…a lot of work, and luck?

The worst…..I’m, not going to go there…but, the regrets, I burn bridges?…I let connections go…..

I’ve made a lot of wrong turns….I’ve followed, and probably lead just as badly…again, things I’m not proud of…..and so many ways I’ve gone were way too often, wrong….

How on earth I ended up comfortable, married with kids, and a pretty good life, I don’t know…..things seem to be going okay……knock on wood.

I get the back to the future thing…..if I could go back and re-do? what would I? and would I even be able to…….was what happened because?……could I have changed anything…..maybe, maybe not…fate maybe….

There is something to be said about not being able to change the past, not to even think about what may have been………there’s only now, right, and now is pretty good, and I guess be pleased with that?..what happened before, happened…where I am is where and what was always meant to be, what I’ve done has lead me to this place…….bad, good, whatever…it is what it is…

I once heard a quote, maybe read it, about there not being a guide book on how to tip toe through the graveyards of bad decisions…..so, I guess you do what you do, and hope for the best, and yeah, this isn’t so bad.

We’re 94 days into 2022…..94 days into me being 63 years old….it’s been an okay 94 days….my goal for the next 271..make them count?……..

I’d really like to reconnect with a lot of people, and renew old friendships..I have no idea how to do that, but, well, there’s no roadmap for all of this…..I’ve Facebook to help make that start……..are friends still friends……and, yeah, making each day count…..time to get on that I guess, and to make my own guide book?……..

there are way too many days I feel like I really let this guy down……….the only way to correct that, well, how to? well, a man must carry on and do what’s right