13 Days to Vancouver….I suck?

another day I didn’t run…should have, could have, didn’t…WTF!

I whined instead….no care giver, had a few house chores to do, and whined…..how bad does this suck, I’m watching Brittney Ran a Marathon or something…..instead of running…

Also followed a blogger who ran the Boston Marathon this morning….so instead of running, I watched the pros, cheering others on, and didn’t….

I’m the king of lists, the king of making to do lists, and not doing anything on that list…

Seriously, what is wrong with me…….years ago my life was get up and go….why can’t I do that now…..?

I was better the older I get…how do I get back to that………?

The goal was the Vancouver, the BMO Vancouver Half Marathon…..now, the 8K?

I have no excuses, sometimes just life, but it seems like, going nowhere fast?

It’s spring, summer’s coming…I’m instructing others on how to do this stuff…but, I cannot get myself to get going……I’m leading two Run Groups?….I can encourage and cheer on others, just not myself?

I have a lot on my plate…so many opportunities, I have options, and time….I just need to get my head and my ass into the game…but how?

Going back to Vancouver, I’m hoping will kick start my brain…..I really need that, a reboot…that’s only two weeks away……but will that work?

The list for this week…a run first thing before breakfast, 5 hours at the Running Room, then at 6PM, Run Club at the Sturgeon Valley Athletic Club……….so busy, but doing things I like…but will I?

Wednesday, a swim, a noon-hour spin class and then the Running Room Run Club in the evening…..I may have loaded up the plate, but years ago, I would look forward to that……..I’ve gotta commit!

Thursday….a bit of strength work, a short run…hopefully a swim…..

I’m planning joining a walking group in the afternoon, but maybe…….

Friday, strength at the Club early…..another 5 hours at the store….and then the weekend…….running, instructing my virtual clinic, yoga, and then a run with the club on Sunday, and a swim

A lot of stuff….I just have to do…will I?

My recent history, doesn’t sound good……..I load up the plate, and cannot eat it all….how do I fix that?

Tuesday is another day…..the morning run doesn’t have to be far, it just has to be..

I know…..I’m older…..I do have a few issues…..a little over weight, high cholesterol, and enlarged prostate…..and I’m always tired………but, well, when I am active, I feel great, positive…..happy..

I don’t know how I get out of this funk…but, well, I have to…I have to make every day count, and know that, I’m only a year and a half away from 65……this has got to be my time…and I have to enjoy, and focus on enjoying life…..

Today, yeah, frustrated, there was a bit of a hiccup today, that I need to get over……tomorrow’s another day, another chance to start fresh……I need to give myself permission I guess…to be happy?

Anyway, tomorrow

2 thoughts on “13 Days to Vancouver….I suck?

  1. I love the charge running app/community for helping me get out the door. Sometimes I will join a live class to listen in to motivate me to get out the door on the next class. I also love the Aaptiv app for on demand runs. As a person living with depression, it hurts me to hear you be hard on yourself- sometimes fo rme that negative voice is the “black dog” and for me, I need a (a lot) of help kicking it to the curb.

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