a moment of reflection. doubts and why?

This was my morning….and am now listening to Sheryl Crowe sing ‘if it makes you happy’ right now, and this so did!…once it got going, it was a happy morning 🙂

But if you could have heard what was going on in my head at 7AM this morning – or pretty much all night long – that wasn’t happy….I was pretty depressed about everything and anything…the SVAC Run club isn’t going all that great (maybe it’ll get better..soon?), I’m not really happy about that, well, yeah, and then well, the Wednesday evening run club is going okay, but not as great as I think it should be (I have high expectations)

(no, I have no idea what Dave’s up to?)……I know, it’s a start, but I wanna see a huge crowd?…why, because?….Run Clubs should be huge….25 people and up…I know, it’s just a starting point, but, well, time to put heads together, thrash some ideas around and see what works?

There’s a few other things going on….so, yeah, a few doubts…..I know I have a lot of things weighing me down, my shoulders are kinda wide, yeah………but yeah at 7 to about 8AM, I was well, thought maybe I should just go back to bed and sleep until noon….and forget about it?

Then, well, three showed up for a run club run…I was hoping for about 22 more, once we began though, all good…and someone new joined in!……so I guess endorphins kick in, and I’m sort of happy again…..not ecstatic, but the eternal optimist in me says, well, maybe things will be alright, maybe things will get better, I just have to work harder and be patient……and work even harder…..gotta workshop this stuff…

This is such a amazing opportunity….grateful? Yes….there’s a lot of expectations, but, with such an amazing club, I’ll do what I have to do, remain involved….share, interact, share, and keep at it…..head against the wall, that may explain my receding hairline?……. and my flat forehead….why do I always wear black?

Seriously, what do I have to bitch about..okay, I don’t bitch, I just get depressed….this past week was pretty good, so that’s good right?…ran, biked, hit the gym, an outdoor spin class, a visit into the pool..lots of outside time, so what if the 75 Day Hard has crashed, I still managed lots of training, maybe more coffee than H2O, but everything else is good….I .just finished off instructing a pretty awesome Virtual 5K Clinic with an amazing group of people from Vancouver to PEI to Peru, am now getting ready for the next, a 10K in a couple of weeks…..I’ve 3 run club runs every week…..so all good, I just wish better right? They should be great…..and honestly, I like where I am more often than the other thing….so many positives, I just need more people…..

so, thinking, over the rainbow…everything will be alright Bob Marley….better days are ahead, the morning after….and as Ted Danson/Mayday Malone said at the of Cheers, I’m the luckiest SOB that’s ever lived, maybe I should just be thankful for that…..making memories…every day is a new day…...think a happy thought?

So next week..which begins tomorrow, hopefully is more of the same and the journey continues….

3 run clubs…..a shift at the good old RRoom…..there should be a swim or two, and at least one morning on the bike, and maybe a few spin classes……so busy busy

Maybe instead of whining, just being grateful for what I’ve got should be what goes through my head every evening and the first thing every morning..


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