It was an okay couple of days……

That’s a good thing though…after a bit of a deep dive into feeling sorry for myself, for some reason…I have no idea why? It just happens sometimes……I just go to sleep, wake up, and well, wonder why I’m doing what I’m doing….

I second guess myself a lot….wondering if I should be doing what I’m doing, and if I’m any good at anything?

Yesterday was pretty good…..a gathering to run Edmonton’s Candy Cane Lane …I guess I reached out to a few people that I thought might join me….

I was pretty surprised. Pleasantly surprised, it was a pretty fun group…..and this turned out well.

I’ve been looking out virtual run clinics, 2 run clubs for most of this year…..some days have been awesome, actually a lot of days were good, the clinics have been fun. Each one has been different, but each one has had people in it, that got it……and were fun, interesting…I’ve somehow have managed to gather around me a great group of guest speakers….and yeah, a year divided into 10 and 18 week sections….love it. The Zoom calls are interesting and I enjoy doing them…I could do that forever…they inspire me to do what I do, and want to do, they make me think, think of things in new ways, and share things that I know…..

The groups are great, love them…….a lot of work, and they didn’t become or haven’t become as huge as I’d like..I have no idea why?

So I did math, and yeah, it’s probably me……I’m guessing…I keep thinking maybe that’s why others arn’t joining in…the guy I see every day in the miror….so for one of the clubs, I’ve stepped back, stepped away….to see if that helps…it probably will..

I’m keeping one of the groups, because…well just because.

I know I may spend too much thinking about this stuff..but, well I know me….I think…way too much and have no ego?

I second guess pretty much everything I do…always. and I take everything to heart..usually the wrong way.

Walking away from things is kind of my thing as well……so I guess this is that..

Like I said….5 awful days…two not bad days….I’m not sure what’ll happen next. Maybe I can make this a positive out of a negative…and knowing me, at some point it’ll just become a negative again….

Tomorrow….yet another chance to start over?