A night at ER, a re-think of life

So let me tell you about two days…..

Yep, on Thursday I decided to switch lanes.

My dad’s health seems to have taken a turn for the wose, his heart is struggling, and he’s seriously weak.

The hard thing, I know he doesn’t realize what his situation is….and his dimentia isn’t helping.

He’s confused, angry, and is not always sure of where he is, what his situation is.

My life at my fave place in the world, our Running Room store is fun, a refuge, but, my head and heart just are just not in it, so I resigned…I walked away..

I’m not going to walk completely away…..I’ll keep instructing virtual clinics, as many as I can and am allowed to…I may make it a industry…within the Running Room…new runners, some trying to their first 5K, 10K, Half and Full Marathons…

That’s going to take a lot of serious everyday work..I won’t become a millionaire doing that, but there’ll be a few dollars involved, and it’ll help keep me engaged, and inspired I hope…it’s something I love to do, and I want to expand on what I’m already doing…

I’m also going to help set up, take down and run events with our Running Room…may possibly just be one or two Sundays a week or something…I haven’t totally commited yet, but it’ll keep that connection, and help keep me engaged…

And to that end, yep, more work…I’m working two independant course to become certified as a coach/instructor…the North American Academy of Sport Fitness Professionals has mee hooked for the next two weeks..at the end there’s an exam and will put me on track to be a certified run coach….my time with the Alberta Fitness Leadership Certification Association will also head me in that direction…and sometime this spring/summer….the Road Runners Club of America has two day courses with an exam, so that’ll be my June…I’ll learn a lot, and that’ll benefit those taking clinics and beyond.

Now parents?….OMG…..this past week…dad went from rehab hospital to ER in another hospital back to rehab back to ER yesterday and now back to the first hotel……his heart is a challenge, the infection hopefully is being fixed, but his dimentia is getting worse, he’s confused, angry, doesn’t understand a lot, and my mom’s health is getting worse just trying to deal with his….nurses are amazing……but now, we have to find a place(s) for them to call a new home and a new life….they love the home and yard they’ve had for almost 6 decades….but trying to get them to understand that it’s time……right now, not happening….

Eventually changes have to happen..and while I’ve attempted to stay out of the way, let the professionals look after him, maybe get him to a point where he understands the change of life…..this change….but he’s a month from turning 90, mom 89…a friend’s dad, who’s 90, just passed away……that brings reality harshly face to face…

The next few weeks, months, will be a challenge…the future isn’t certain…..I have no idea what will happen next, living a lot day to day…..but what I can do, and will be able to do is pretty much up in the air……..

the future……….so, release, let happen what happens, plan, and hope for the best…..or just hope?

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